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Young People Ask: Why Do I Struggle to Make Friends?


The question of why some young people find it challenging to make friends is a concern that touches on various aspects of human interaction and personal development. In addressing this issue, it is essential to consider psychological, social, and biblical perspectives to provide a holistic understanding.

Understanding Friendship

The Nature of Friendship

Friendship is a mutual relationship marked by support, trust, and shared interests. It's important to recognize that the quality of friendships often matters more than quantity.

Common Challenges in Making Friends

Social Skills

Developing social skills is crucial for building friendships. Some young people may struggle with communication, empathy, or understanding social cues.

Personal Insecurities

Insecurities, such as low self-esteem or shyness, can hinder one's ability to engage with others and form meaningful connections.

Life Circumstances

Changes like moving to a new school or city can disrupt existing social networks, making it difficult to establish new friendships.

Biblical Perspectives on Friendship

Proverbs on Friendship

Scriptures like Proverbs 18:24 and 17:17 provide wisdom on being a good friend, emphasizing qualities like loyalty, kindness, and understanding.

Jesus as a Model of Friendship

Jesus Christ exemplified perfect friendship - He was approachable, empathetic, and self-sacrificing. His interactions offer valuable lessons in forming deep, genuine connections.

Developing Social Skills


Effective communication, including listening and expressing oneself clearly, is vital for building friendships.


Understanding and sharing the feelings of others is crucial for forming emotional connections and trust.

Involvement in Community

Participating in community activities, such as youth groups or volunteering, provides opportunities to meet people with similar interests.

Overcoming Personal Barriers

Building Self-Esteem

Recognizing one’s own value and strengths can boost confidence in social interactions.

Facing Fears

Gradually confronting social anxieties and fears can lead to more comfortable and successful interactions.

Prayer and Spiritual Growth

Prayer and spiritual development can provide strength and guidance in overcoming personal challenges.

The Role of Parents and Mentors

Guidance and Support

Parents and mentors can play a significant role in helping young people develop social skills and self-confidence.


Positive reinforcement and encouragement can motivate young people to step out of their comfort zones and engage with their peers.


Friendship is a fundamental aspect of human experience, and difficulties in making friends are not uncommon among young people. By developing social skills, overcoming personal insecurities, and seeking guidance from biblical teachings and supportive adults, young people can enhance their ability to form meaningful friendships. It's important to remember that building strong, lasting friendships takes time and effort, and each individual's journey is unique.

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