How Can I Improve My Conversation Skills?
- Edward D. Andrews
- Feb 13
- 3 min read
Talking to others can sometimes feel challenging, like when you want to join a group discussion or talk to someone new., especially when you want to express yourself clearly, build good relationships, or even share your faith. If you’ve ever wondered how to become a better conversationalist, the Bible offers principles that can help. Jehovah God designed humans with the ability to communicate, and His Word provides practical wisdom that can improve your conversation skills.
1. Listen Before You Speak
The Bible advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1:19, ESV). Good conversation isn’t just about talking—it’s about listening with genuine interest. For example, when Sarah took time to ask her classmate about his weekend, she discovered shared interests that sparked a great friendship. When someone is speaking, avoid the urge to interrupt or think about what you will say next. Proverbs 18:13 warns, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” So, pay attention to others, ask follow-up questions, and show that you care about their thoughts.
2. Speak with Kindness and Respect
Words have power. For example, when Jake encouraged his friend with kind words during a tough time, it strengthened their friendship and opened the door for meaningful conversations. Proverbs 16:24 reminds us, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” When you speak, choose words that encourage, not tear down. Avoid sarcasm, harshness, or gossip (Ephesians 4:29). Speak with sincerity and humility, remembering that kind words build trust and rapport.
3. Be Honest but Tactful
Honesty is essential for good communication. Ephesians 4:25 says, “Speak the truth with your neighbor.” Yet, truth should be delivered with tact. Proverbs 15:23 notes, “A word in season, how good it is!” This means being sensitive to how and when you say things. For example, if a friend needs correction, choose a private moment and speak gently.
4. Stay Calm and Avoid Anger
Sometimes conversations become tense, but the Bible counsels, and taking a deep breath or pausing for a moment can help you stay calm. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). If a discussion becomes heated, pause and pray silently for patience. Ecclesiastes 7:9 reminds us not to become quickly provoked, as anger disrupts effective communication.
5. Practice Empathy and Interest
Jesus set the perfect example by listening and responding with empathy. In John 4, He conversed with the Samaritan woman, showing genuine interest in her life. Follow His example by asking others about their experiences, feelings, and interests. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” This approach helps build meaningful conversations.
6. Avoid Harmful Speech
Gossip, criticism, or boasting can damage relationships. Proverbs 20:19 warns against associating with a gossip, and Philippians 2:3 urges us to speak with humility, not selfish pride. Keep your speech wholesome, avoiding vulgar language or hurtful remarks.
7. Pray for Wisdom
Finally, pray for Jehovah’s help to improve your conversational skills. For example, you might pray, 'Jehovah God, please give me the wisdom and patience to listen well, speak kindly, and reflect your love in my conversations. Amen.' James 1:5 assures that God grants wisdom to those who ask. With practice and scriptural guidance, you can become a thoughtful, kind, and engaging conversationalist, reflecting the qualities of Christ in your everyday interactions.
About the Author
EDWARD D. ANDREWS (AS in Criminal Justice, BS in Religion, MA in Biblical Studies, and MDiv in Theology) is CEO and President of Christian Publishing House. He has authored over 220 books. In addition, Andrews is the Chief Translator of the Updated American Standard Version (UASV).
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